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Paul McCartney: “Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey”
There are certainly exceptions to the rule. But in more cases than not, attempting a deep meaningful analysis of pop music lyrics is a mistake. A mistake somewhat on the order of assuming your parrot is ready to take the SATs because it’s mastered “hello” and “pretty girl.”
Most pop music lyrics are drivel. No, I don’t have any stats to back that assertion, only decades of patient observation. Not that this is even a bad thing, mind you. One could make the argument that the magnificence of such an immensely brilliant work as “Louie Louie” would have been considerably demagnificentized if the lyrics had meant something—or, if you could understand them.
Same for such dim-watt exercises in retarded minimalism as the Ramones‘ “Beat on the Brat” or a host of others. Like Van Halen’s “Hot for Teacher”, for example, or Gary Glitter’s supremely moronic “Rock and Roll Part 2”, which is actually more like an instrumental that’s been spiced up with a few strategically placed grunts.
On the other hand are those forays into pop songwriting that manage to marry a catchy tune with a lyric that actually says something. This isn’t the time or place to expound at much length upon this notion, but obviously you could look to the works of Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen, Neil Young, and Lou Reed for starters.
Then there are those songs that appear to be saying something, but damned if anyone can figure out what it is. “She’s buying a stairway to heaven.” Oh, is she? Can we pick up one of those at Home Depot? Is it difficult to install? Will I need a hammer? Or the Australian novelty tune, “Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport”, by Rolf Harris, which supposedly is about “an Australian stockman on his deathbed.” Well, you could have fooled me.
One of the more cryptic and annoying of these pop ditties (for me, anyway—your mileage may vary) is “Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey”, a grating number from an album called Ram. This one hit store shelves in 1971 and was Paul McCartney’s second solo release—a collaboration with his wife, Linda—after calling it quits with those other guys. You know the ones.
I know I’m restating the blatantly frigging obvious, but let’s make it abundantly clear that McCartney has a lot to answer for—even as an ex-Beatle. I’ve managed to tune him out over the past couple decades, so I’ve got no idea what mortal sins against music he’s committed lately, but let’s touch on a few of the low points from decades prior. There are Beatles-era duds (okay, arguably) like “Hey Jude” or “Yesterday”, steaming heaps of solo wretchedness like “Silly Love Songs”, and 20-megaton suck-bomb collaborations like “Ebony and Ivory” (with Stevie Wonder) and “The Girl Is Mine” (with the late Michael Jackson).
Now, lest I be accused of some sort of anti-McCartney bias, lemme hasten to point out something. Coming of age in the mid-’70s and with a bent towards hard rock, I was not totally immune to the charms of certain sections of Wings albums like Band on the Run and Venus and Mars, among others. So there.
But let’s continue carping about McCartney’s earlier crime against anyone with a functioning pair of ears, “Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey.” Given my advanced age, I can safely guess that I’ve now heard this song about 1,917 times, and yet until now I still didn’t have the faintest idea what it’s about. Not that my research for this piece has exactly cleared up the matter.
In the unlikely event that you’ve made it this far in life without having had the displeasure, let’s do a quick review. Clocking in at 4:49 (seems about 10 times as long—just my opinion) “UA/AH”, according to its Wikipedia entry, “is probably the most ambitious and experimental track on Ram, and is less a song and more a collection of melodic fragments pieced together.”
Fair enough. Ambitious, I suppose. Experimental, perhaps. Collection of fragments, yep. Also a number one hit in the United States, as of August 1971, which just goes to show that you can fool some of the people some of the time. And a Grammy winner, to boot.
But what about those lyrics, which Wikipedia refers to as “upbeat and nonsensical”? The first three verses, comprising the first of the “melodic fragments” are an apology to one Uncle Albert (McCartney’s uncle, says the same source) for some transgression or transgressions that are never clearly defined. “We’re so sorry, Uncle Albert.” Sorry for what exactly? Sorry that we bumped your wheelchair brake that time we were watching the cliff divers?
The next melodic fragment is accompanied by the cryptic lyrics, “Hands across the water, hands across the sky.” According to one source, this may be “a reference to the American aid programs of WW II.” It gives way to the Admiral Halsey segment of the song. He may be either a top-ranked British or American naval officer, both of whom, as luck would have it, were named Halsey. Perhaps a listener better acquainted with the careers of these gentlemen would be able to extract some clue from the several lines of cryptic prattle that accompany this section (example, “I had another look and I had a cup of tea and a butter pie / The butter wouldn’t melt so I put it in the pie”), but it ain’t me, babe.
Which leads into a reprise of “hands across the water” and then last of the fragments, which would seem to exhort the listener to cast off the shackles of his or her mundane life:
Live a little, be a gypsy, get around
Get your feet up off the ground
Live a little, get around
At some point thereafter, it all winds to a close, leaving the listener to perhaps look more favorably on such abominations as Winger, the Jonas Brothers, and Frankie Goes to Hollywood.
But what does it all mean? Damned if I know. Damned if any of us will ever know. According to a sampling of the “UA/AH” conspiracy theorists at Songfacts.com, the song may be about Pearl Harbor. It could also imply that McCartney’s Uncle Albert was fond of reading the Bible, but only when he drank, and the voiceover part that represents Uncle Albert might have been performed by John Cleese. Whatever.
Ultimately, what I find so inexplicable about this quite inexplicable bit of fluff is how much and how consistently it’s managed to get under my skin all these many years. While I might not feel as uncharitable toward it as Laura at Songfacts.com, I’d say she’s not that far off the mark: “This is not a song. It’s so goofy and stupid it turns my stomach every time I hear it… Maybe if I was on drugs I could stand to listen to it. But I can’t. I hate it.”
Listen: “Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey” [at youtube.com]
26 Comments
Coincidentally, I was just thinking about this tonight as my iPod served up Herbie Mann’s take on “You Never Give Me Your Money” (about Allen Klein, to save you some trouble), and it reminded me of seeing a PBS jazz special many years back featuring Buddy Rich performing a big-band version of “Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey” which was…interesting. And no lyrics to distract you from the tasty melodic fragments.
Of course, the best part of listening to UA/AH on the Ram album is how it cross-fades into the rude, discodant guitar of “Smile Away.”
Dale G. Leopold (past Crawdaddy contributor/webmaster)
Having never heard this song before I made the mistake of listening as I read the article.
It ruined my morning. ‘orrible. Absolutely ‘orrible.
The song is a fascinating train wreck . . . and it was a huge hit at the time. McCartney, the most prolific of the Beatles, has some duds, sure. My favorite Wings albums are the last two, Londontown and Back to the Egg. There are some brilliant songs on both — Denny Laine had a lot to do with some of the better Wings song, as well.
Excuse me, “duds” like Yesterday and Hey Jude? Arguably, by whom? It must be by you, since I’ve never heard that before. Let’s hear your argument! Sure, McCartney has written tons of total dreck (”Nod Your Head” anyone?), but naming two of the greatest songs ever jut makes you sound like a d-bag…
Clearly the author has no idea of what would define the word “pop” to most folks, at least. The idea that Lou Reed is described as a pop songwriter explains why this author simply doesn’t understand the appeal and tradition of bubblegum music and surreal lyrics. What Macca brings to the table so different from many others is his sense and appreciation of Music Hall and the Goons (not exactly Neil Young’s territory, is it?). It’s also worth bearing in mind that the last time of note that he strung together several parts and snippets of tunes and verse he ended up with the medley on Abbey Road which, like it or hate it, worked pretty darn well, particularly in it’s time. With time, maturity and with the experience of tradition, an appreciation for the oft-maligned post Beatle years output will take it’s place along with Bagism, Elephant’s Memory and Caveman as elements of the parts of a magnificent and timeless whole entity being allowed their individual heads.
Exactly how much Genius do you require?
UA/AH is Strawberry Fields Forever compared to McCartney dreck like Mary Had a Little Lamb.
Well, I like it…a lot! It is one of the only number one hits in the rock era with five time signature shifts, and let’s be honest it is a prototype of every Queen hit. The Ram album is brilliant and a rock classic.
For me, I think McCartney gets better with age. I loved Memory Almost Full and Chaos and Creation in the Backyard.
wonderful christmas time- nuf said
and speaking of horrible PM songs and the Memory Almost Full album…
“Temporary Secretary”
WTF is that about? Personally it rates several levels above Uncle Albert / Admiral Halsey in my book (and I seriously have to stay awau from any sharp objects when THAT song comes on.)
then there is…..Winchester Cathedral (which started that whole “megaphone in the middle of a rock song” crap.
I need to run a warm bath….
Have always loved this song. And you sure don’t dent my appreciation for it. Sorry sport!
“Hey Jude” and “Yesterday” were classics. Perhaps the author didn’t realize that the second side of Abbey road was mostly just a mish mash ofhalf finished songs and ideas by the Beatles.
Maybe this is what Mccartney had in mind with UA/AH.
Maybe the author has no understanding of the Beatles or their individual efforts after the breakup at all. I’drank Ringo a lot more nonsensical than Paul.
See: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/b/blues+traveler/hook_20020794.html.
A catchy melody (or two, or three, or four) and anything you say sounds like gospel.
Expect for maybe “Let ‘Em In”.
Two words for McArtney’s worst song ever: Bip Bop.
I thought it was, “Hands across the water, heads across the sky….”
I like this song, too. It has never been one of my absolute favorites, but it isn’t near the obnoxious mess described by the author. So what if the lyrics don’t make sense? It’s rock & roll, not organic chemistry.
VENUS & MARS ARE ALL RIGHT TONIGHT!
Pop music is filled to the brim with songs containing non-sensical lyrics.
Wholey Moley ! take a gander at the first 5 Genesis records if you want to see
lyrics that don;t make sense. My belief is that many songwriters fill great melodies they have dreamed up with gibberish. They have to get through the process, in some way.
Ray Davies and Harry Nillsson ( both brilliant ! ) have given us incredible gifts of fun that sometimes falls into ” la ti da ” na na na ” blah blah blah. So what !
Mr Mc Cartney gave us some of the sweetest melodies of all time. All contribution is appreciated, even the dreck. In all his greatness, he is still an insecure musician.
There is no cure for that.
UA/AH has ONE huge thing in spades. Atmosphere !!!!! Love the atmosphere of this track.
Uncle Albert was one of Paul’s best songs. Actually a perfect song. Lyrics do not have to make sense for a song to be good. I think this one, to me, makes sense. An apology during war, make light of a situation, like death. Then switch over to carefree and enjoying a slice of pie.
“Let Me Roll It” is a great song from the album “Band on the Run” the only great song from that album.
Right on! I quit listening to Sir P after his “Live and let die” lyrics –
. “The world IN which live we IN” — AAAAgh! Lot of crap after he left “the other guys”, yeah, and I’m from Liverpool.
“The world in which we live in” is what I meant to say!
Lots of notable and serious comments on this article and Sir Paul’s tunes both classic and silly- but that article was hilarious! Nice job, mate :>)
Wasn’t Uncle Albert a character in Mary Poppins? The one who floated up to the ceiling when he got into a laughing mood? I think he was played by Ed Wynn in the Disney film.
Post-Beatles McCartney is usually pretty trivial, but this piece of whimsy is not too offensive. Like McCartney, I rather admire a man whose worst trait is his inability to quit laughing and remain earthbound.
Music is the backdrop of life. Do you remember what you were doing when you heard this song on the airwaves? Maybe the song is not much more than a series of catchy melodies and a vehicle for a beautiful voice (Paul certainly had this niche well covered, when you consider the genre in which he worked). But everytime I hear it (not much these days) or it plays in my mind (too often), I transports me back to wonderful times in my life, for which I am thankful. It’s a silly song, full of humor. Humor can be silly: it doesn’t have to be caustic and beat you over the head. Jazz is full of humor, and many of Paul’s songs include jokes, not meant to be taken so seriously. Lighten up. If you want to attack a hit song, then how about, “Ballroom Blitz” or “Billy, Don’t be a Hero”?
It’s possible to really like sections of this song (”Uncle Albert”) yet be driven spare by the rest of it. It’s possible to be mortally offended by the sound of McCartney’s lack of respect for his own genius. This song is musical vandalism, thus did not slide over the consciousness the way that “Mary had a Little Lamb”, having nothing good in it, did. As for humour, UA/AH doesn’t make sense, but neither is it really absurd, so it’s not funny either way. Why didn’t he just do one great track called “Uncle Albert”?
From the historical perspective of the time “Admiral Halsey” could only have reminded the adult audience of WW2 US Adm. William “Bull” Halsey, the scourge of the Pacific. To name a historical character then say nothing meaningful about them whatever is just irritating to the extreme. “Live and let die” would have been a good lyric for a song about Halsey.
All very interesting comments on what no one has EVER claimed was a classical experience in literature or music. One thing stands out though, without argument: McCartney has published more material and made a hell of a fortune from this so-called drivel than anyone on this here post. How did he get the money? From people who liked his sound …many more than have pontificated here.
I don’t get it either.