Bloodlights’ Captain Poon: I Don’t Hate Bald People

by: James Greene Jr.

It’s been three years since dubiously named Norwegian guitarist Captain Poon, founding member of hard-charging rock outfit Gluecifer, stepped up to the mic to helm the pop-leaning quartet Bloodlights. In that time, Poon (real name: Arne Christian Skagen) and his pals have released one shimmering ass-kicker of a debut (Bloodlights) and tread a well-worn touring trail over most of Europe. Bloodlights is currently hard at work on their as-yet-unnamed sophomore effort, due sometime in late 2009. Crawdaddy! caught up with Cap in the middle of mixing said record to discuss the evolution of his group’s music, the allure of America (if there is any), and the fury of Yngwie Malmsteen.

Crawdaddy!: Here’s a cliché question to start: How do you think the band’s sound has evolved or changed since the debut record? That new song you posted on your MySpace page, “Blasted” [currently, the song is not up], sounds a little darker than the earlier stuff. Would you say that’s fair?

Captain Poon: It’s a little hard to point my finger at any exact changes. But in general, I think we’ve grown together as a band and are getting into that good lane where we have four heads moving in the same direction without too much fucking around. In the beginning, I had to tell everyone what to do at all time; now, I can get away with doing this just 95 percent of the time. [Laughs] “Blasted” may sound a little darker, but hey, it’s a dark topic, isn’t it? Ending up in bed with someone you’ll find extremely unattractive when the beer goggles are gone the next day? What, isn’t that dark and serious enough for you?

Crawdaddy!: Frankly, no. It’s kind of sad, but not dark. Maybe if the person in question died in the middle of the night…

Captain Poon: Hey, you’re the one who mentioned the dark undertones. I just played along.

Crawdaddy!: Fair enough. At this point, is “making it” in America still something European bands dream about, or is success on that side of globe just as satisfying? Are you personally concerned with the US?

Captain Poon: I guess “making it” is a relative phrase, based on your level of ambition. The main problem with going to the States, in general, is being willing to spend shit loads of time and energy if no one’s looking out for you. On the other hand, it’s the same in Europe—you ain’t worth shit until you’ve played and played and won the people over night after night. For Bloodlights, we just had to hit somewhere to make the ball start rolling, and so far this has been in Europe. If that ball ends up… over there, where someone is willing to throw us a tiny bone, we’ll come running, baby. I don’t worry too much about success in general. I think our type of rock n’ roll is based on love for and from the underground, and can be played anywhere where you find people with a decent taste in music.

Crawdaddy!: So it wouldn’t bother you to play in people’s backyards for the rest of your career so long as you were playing to true fans?

Captain Poon: If I was stuck in people’s backyards, I probably would have called it quits a long time ago. My point is, it doesn’t have to be stadiums and commercial rock stardom to keep my clock ticking.

Crawdaddy!: A lot of your lyrics seem to revolve around calling people out or exposing phonies. Have you had a lot of trouble in life with people fronting on you?

Captain Poon: When I formed Bloodlights and started writing lyrics for the first time in my life, a lot of the things I wrote about was experiences from the past. I guess my mind has this certain ability to focus on the bad things going on rather than the good things, so that’s probably why it sounds the way it does. That being said, I’ve also learned that people take my lyrics in a much more literal sense than stupid me would ever think. Like this Norwegian journalist who didn’t understand why I was so mad at bald people, obviously referring to the song “Bald and Outrageous.”

Crawdaddy!: That song’s about Howie Mandel, right?

Captain Poon: Well, it used to be about this guy in Oslo, this really annoying guy who’s been sort of a pain the ass for years, but now that you said something, it’s Howie all the way, brother. Apart from that, of course I don’t hate bald people. Balding fucking rocks! It’s just this guy, he happens to be bald, and yes, he happens to be outrageous. As for people fronting on me, yes, there’s been a few, more or less due to the success I had with Gluecifer. I can hardly think of any environment filled with more envy, backbiting, and general stupidity than the one I’ve been surrounded by throughout the years.

Crawdaddy!: How has the general reception to Bloodlights been from longtime Gluecifer fans? Do you think they had certain expectations from this new project?

Captain Poon: I have to say that the reception has been really good. With so many people supporting us since Bloodlights day one, I guess we’ve been more fortunate than most other new bands. But of course, there are always people who have this certain image of how they want it to be, without giving it a thought or two how the band actually wants it to be. I never wanted to start a Gluecifer #2. I wanted to start a new band that sounded different but within the same genre of music, of course. Pretty basic stuff, if you ask me. But, you win some and you lose some. I guess a lot of people don’t really wanna see me “make it” one more time. Think again, suckers.

Crawdaddy!: You once stated in another interview that if you had access to a time machine, you’d go back in time and teach Johnny Thunders how to play guitar. Is that still your main objective should you breach the space/time continuum?

Captain Poon: [Laughs] Well, that was a little cocky, I have to admit, but I think he was a pretty mediocre guitar player. I was never much of a New York Dolls fan. It’s weird, because most people I share my interest in music with are into them, but to me they never really meant anything. If I ever get the chance to do some time traveling, I’ll probably go see something more interesting and let Thunders be Thunders.

Crawdaddy!: Are there other so-called “vital” rock bands you just can’t get into?

Captain Poon: I don’t know. There are so many “legends” out there, and you just can’t swallow them all, can you?

Crawdaddy!: How do you feel about the Osmonds?

Captain Poon: The only thing I know is that they were some semi-religious family project. I presume they’re pretty heinous.

Crawdaddy!: You don’t know the half of it. Are you concerned about the so-called death of the album and the singles-based iTunes world we’re living in? Does the internet make it difficult to be a monetarily successful musician? How is the industry today different than it was 10 years ago?

Captain Poon: I think the biggest problem is the change in people’s minds rather than the format. Music used to be a sacred thing where you were actually willing to make a little bit of an effort yourself. Sometimes it takes a little while, especially with good music, to get into the groove and enjoy the beauty of it. It might happen the second, third, or even tenth time you give it a listen. These days, it seems like the kids barely have the patience to wait for the first chorus. It’s a huge drag for the listener, not to mention a huge drag for the artist. The industry today is all
about complaining about the industry today. I can barely remember the last time I met someone in the music industry who said, “Hey man, you gotta check out this really cool record, these guys fucking rock.” Now, it’s just, “You know the way things are, it’s really hard to get by and make money off the releases, blah blah blah.”

Crawdaddy!: You wear a lot of sleeveless shirts. Do you feel that lack of sleeves improves your guitar playing? Like, does it give you more maneuverability? This is the most important question I’ve ever asked anyone.

Captain Poon: [Laughs] This is by far my favorite question. Sleeveless shirts totally improve my guitar playing. Steve Vai and Yngwie Malmsteen can shove their ugly fucking scalloped guitars up their expanded assholes. Sleeveless shirts have way more impact. These guys are just too fucking lame to get it.

Crawdaddy!: Hey man, I’d be careful taunting Yngwie. You might unleash the motherfucking fury or whatever the hell he threatened to do that time he was on that plane.

Captain Poon: I’d love to get his fury released right in my fucking face. I guess whoever gets the chance to beat the shit out of that guy doesn’t need to see another day of sunshine for the rest of his or her life.

Crawdaddy!: I’m detecting homoerotic undertones here. Did Yngwie spurn your advances on one otherwise magical spring night?

Captain Poon: You got it, man.

Watch: “Bloodlights” [at youtube.com]

Tags: Captain Poon, Bloodlights, Gluecifer, interview