Green Day
21st Century Breakdown
(Reprise, 2009)

“Do you know your enemy?” Billie Joe repeatedly asks during 21st Century Breakdown’s third song, “Know Your Enemy”; this seems like a legitimate question since Barack Obama took office. With Dubya out the door, who are the rich-as-shit rock ‘n’ roll protesters in this country supposed to rage against? The new guy? France? Glenn Beck? In Green Day’s case, one could correctly argue time is now playing Dr. Evil to their Austin Powers. This famed snotty trio has touched nearly all the bases during their two decades together—they’ve been the Kings of the Underground, the Teenybopper MTV Punks, the Harmonica-Swingin’ Mature Troubadours, and the Eyeliner-Wearin’ Agit-Poli Arena Rockers. It’s been a helluva ride, but where can they possibly go now? There’s nothing left to conquer but further accusations that they’re running on rapidly evaporating bong fumes.

The smart move would have been to bow out immediately following the unexpected worldwide success of 2004’s American Idiot (seriously, how mind-blowing was it that a rock opera by Green Day tore things up like that?). These guys have never really worried about looking stupid, though (see: The Network, Foxboro Hot Tubs, “Dominated Love Slave”), so here they are once again taking another stab at musical storytelling. Green Day’s 21st Century Breakdown follows the dramatic ups and downs of a young couple named Christian and Gloria as they face the dawn of a new, uncertain age (life has been pretty tough since King of Queens went off the air). Plot lines aside, this fully-stuffed 70-minute opus finds B.J. and the boys jumping from merely testing Who Positive on American Idiot to full-blown Quadrophenia. Sure, they’ve retained enough of their trademark guttural punk stomp on Breakdown to not cause a complete uproar, but the Jerkelies from Berkeley pad the thing out with so many clichéd 1970s FM rock nuances that at times you’ll swear Peter Frampton came by and sprinkled some magic fairy dust over studio album number eight.

The lean towards unnecessary indulgence does not work in Green Day’s favor. Whereas American Idiot was somewhat trim and focused and seemed to have an overall goal, 21st Century Breakdown is just a fat stoner wandering through an empty mall on an otherwise unremarkable Tuesday morning encountering all sorts of tired crap like faux terrestrial radio static, Elton John-style piano plinking, gentle acoustic guitar arpeggios, and half-assed tributes to Wings. Indeed, this album has everything every chart-topping record of your parents’/grandparents’ era had, topped off with lazy lyrics that often seem like deliberate callbacks to earlier Green Day successes. I wish Congress would consider passing legislation that would ban this band from using the terms “Jesus,” “cigarettes,” “Working Class Hero,” and any kind of street name variation ever again.

Every once in a while, Green Day takes a break from evoking Dazed and Confused to ape a newer trend, like the gypsy-punk sounds of Gogol Bordello (“Peacemaker”). Hey, did you ever notice these guys were about to slip off the grid entirely until they started dressing like A.F.I. and complaining about the government? All major artists desperate for longevity end up as shallow trend whores; it’s sad that a group who can still manage to toss off delicious punk nuggets like this album’s “Christian’s Inferno” and “The Static Age” feel they have to resort to that. And I used to quietly respect Green Day for their circa 2000 decision to get fat and slowly evolve into a Pogues tribute act. So much for integrity. Tré Cool gotta eat!

That could be why, on a personal level, I can’t help but feel stupid and unrefined for liking parts of 21st Century Breakdown. The whole thing seems kind of phony, a musical endeavor genetically engineered to connect with earnest, unhappy teenagers (read: All teenagers) from Generation Y who think revolution is violating school dress code and not eating at KFC. I suppose you could say the same thing about American Idiot, but at least that record offered fresh riffs and melodies by the bucket-load (and at least 60 percent less schmaltz). There’s a been-there, done-that feel to every track on 21st CB. If you can listen to this and not be reminded of some previous Green Day hit/miss, you have obviously been confusing this band with Blink-182 or Sum 41 or 2Gether or Three Times One Minus One or some other group of zit-encrusted Californians who originally rose to prominence before UPN and the WB became the same network. Not even the refined, ultra-slick lacquer of storied rock producer Butch Vig can save Green Day’s latest from becoming the big, loud, aimless Armageddon of their catalog.

So, where does Green Day go from here? If they continue to follow the Who model they seem to have been using as a vague outline as of late, the band’s next outing will be a stripped-down affair thematically revolving around Billie Joe’s alcoholism/fear of ghosts. A few years after that, the drummer will choke to death on a handful of Rice Krispies in Hawaii; Billie Joe and Mike will stoically decide to soldier on, because that’s what they’ll assume Tré would have wanted (later, his ghost will come back and say otherwise). Green Day will hire one of Tony Hawk’s kids as a replacement drummer and fart around for a few years before doing one last massive “retirement” tour of skate parks, malls, and carnival fairgrounds.

From then on, the world’s premier band of angst/mucus-ridden forty-somethings will lay dormant, only very sporadically reuniting for random charity concerts and surprise appearances on popular American sitcoms. Things will officially be over when Mike accidentally snorts an entire bag of washing powder outside a Laundromat in downtown Houston in 2026. Billie will convert to Christianity and spend the rest of his life headlining in Vegas with Little Richard’s grandson Lil’ Little Richard, Hank Williams IV, and the Blanket Jackson Drag Revue.

Until then, have fun pretending it’s 1975 with 21st Century Breakdown.

Listen: Various Tracks [at myspace.com]

Tags: Green Day, 21st Century Breakdown, Reprise Records

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