“More Human Than Human”—such controversy surrounded the release of that song! I’ll never forget the day in 1995 when my like-minded, serious rocker friend Ed (who, it should be noted, had an original Misfits crimson ghost shirt circa ’82 that a member of the band pressed for him on a Champion brand tee) came into our elective photography class and told me in a disheartened tone that he had heard the new White Zombie single the night before. It had synthesizers. Ed spat that last word out with enough disgust to fill every toilet at Disney World. 

Synthesizers? Say it ain’t so, Rob. Say it ain’t so.

As fans of the heavy metal genre, Ed and I were sick and tired of our musical heroes selling out, not staying true to the game, and patently refusing to keep it real. Metallica cut their hair. Pantera grew their hair. Megadeth wrote a ballad partially in French. Don’t even get me started on that Danzig asshole. Now, White Zombie, the one band who seemed dedicated to the true metal vision (crunchy guitars + barked vocals + horror movie imagery + denim + hair to their asses), were turning into friggin’ Depeche Mode.

“More Human Than Human” went on to become a modest hit; of course, my friends and I all hated it. We didn’t want no damn Commodore 64 beeping in our rock music. Our prejudices at the time prevented us from appreciating the fact that this “Human” tune was one damn fine slab of groove metal that was merely accented by brief strands of digital noise. Those percolating synth blips were a great juxtaposition to the crushing slide guitar that smothered John Tempesta’s pounding drums. It was like some kind of android waltz, which was perfect since the title was cribbed from Blade Runner. 

We didn’t care, though. We wanted our metal fast and synthesizer/keyboard/computer-free. That stuff was for weirdos who used Aqua Net and tucked their shirts in. Hence, I ignored “More Human Than Human” and the album that spawned it, Astro-Creep: 2000—Songs of Love, Destruction, and Other Synthetic Delusions of the Electric Head,until my senior year in college. In the meantime, I kept my musical palette full with a galaxy of obscure punk bands, assorted motion picture soundtracks, and Gary Young’s “Plantman” (the video for which, by the way, may be the greatest piece of visual art produced in the 20th century). 

It is only now, in my advanced age, that I can admit my blatant stupidity. I can finally testify to “More Human”’s greatness, that it is a small piece of genius from a larger work of equal or greater genius. Astro-Creep: 2000 is no parade of weak and wimpy new wave rock; nay, it’s the most rollicking slab of haunted house heavy metal ever put to tape; an intense, albeit cartoonish, journey through the land of ghosts, wolfmen, serial killers, and (inexplicably) John Shaft. It barely gives you a moment to breathe between cosmic carnivals of brutal riffage and mind-warping beats. NORAD-type blips and bloops make occasional appearances, but the album is certainly not rife with them as I previously assumed. White Zombie used electronica as a fine chef does salt and pepper; carefully, in just the right places (unless you’re talking about Emeril, who throws that shit around like magic goof powder while shouting at his food).

That I missed out on the heaving rhythms, slamming guitar work, and amazing Manson-related soundclips that defined White Zombie’s second major label release for so many years is one of my biggest regrets in life. If I could go back in time, I’d force a copy of this album into my neatly manicured 16-year-old hands (despite my affinity for metal, I was a pretty clean kid).

As for Ed, the harbinger of what I initially perceived to be bad rock-related news, the last time I saw him (early 2000s, maybe) he had had a number of his teeth surgically altered to resemble fangs. This sight would have been far more disturbing had the setting for our chance meeting not been the local video store, where Ed was checking out some Disney films with his kids. I’m guessing he never got around to checking Astro-Creep out. That’s a shame. At least he still (ostensibly) has that Misfits shirt. 

Watch: “More Human Than Human” [at youtube.com]

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