Ministry
Dark Side of the Spoon
(Warner, 1999)

Every so often an album emerges that works ridiculously well based solely on the fact that its merits are pretty much impossible to define. That is to say, its intrinsic worth is not calculable, has no numerical value on a traditional rating scale. Typically, these are the albums that divide the shit out of a fanbase, and end up sticking out like a sore thumb from the band’s catalogue. They might surface as a result of some newfound (and usually ill-advised) experimentation the band feels necessary to bolster their artistic cred, or perhaps surfaces due to a new production team intent on reinventing the band’s sound (usually just so the producer can get their name on the map). It’s really tough to say how or why these albums do get put out, but in the case of Ministry’s Dark Side of the Spoon, we can determine the root cause behind this insanely twisted record is rampant drug use during the entire recording.

If you think it’s presumptuous for me to speculate drug abuse as that which spurred a record emulating complete bedlam that, at times, seems like deliberate anachronisms are planted throughout, then you should know that I’m not assuming anything. Al Jourgensen owned up to the scag buffet the band was consuming throughout the creation of DSOTS, admitting he doesn’t remember making any of it. And really, for all intents and purposes, Jourgensen is Ministry, so it’s a good guess any Ministry release is essentially a reflection of whatever state of mind he happened to be in at the time of making it. Add in the fact that their touring guitarist William Tucker took his own life just prior to the recording sessions, and you have a train wreck of an album waiting to happen.

Here’s the part where you expect me to go into great detail regarding the album’s defiant success in the face of overwhelming odds, but you know what, that triumph of the human spirit never really arrives. Instead, it sounds exactly how you’d expect it to. It’s truly all over the place, and if you’re at all familiar with Ministry’s discography, you know this sort of thing is not the band’s modus operandi. Every release has a consistent sound from start to finish—that is, except for DSOTS. Filth Pig is a plodding, Godflesh-esque racket, The Land of Rape and Honey and The Mind Is a Terrible Thing to Taste are pulsating industrial thrash, and the rest are self-congratulatory thrash metal. Ministry fans never wanted Jourgensen to try anything new, they just wanted him to try and make Psalm 69 again and again for the rest of his musical career. For the most part he did oblige, but that doesn’t change the fact that we are still left with Dark Side of the Spoon, a Ministry album really only by name.

For the record, I believe it’s not only the best Ministry album, but one of the best, boundary-pushing recordings I have ever heard. It represents all the freedoms that, in this world, usually burst onto the scene smashing through barred wooden doors, conquering everything within, and waking up bleary-eyed, full of splinters in the flesh, not quite alert to the enormity of what just transpired, maybe never truly understanding it for what it actually was, only seeing the chaos left in the wake when there really was so much more. Maybe nothing gets clearly articulated in a drug-laden state, but even though every line may be blurred here, something much more powerful resonates in this album’s closing moments. It’s a fact that may pain long-time musicians to hear: This is the aural equivalent of a painter throwing random gobs of color onto a canvas for a night and waking up with a masterpiece in the morning. 

It’s really tough to pinpoint a favorite track on a release like this, because every song is an island unto itself. Most days it’s the stripped down immediacy of the heavy drum-driven track “Whip and Chain”, but other days I love the frantic propinquity of the opener “Supermanic Soul.” Oh, and there are times when I wonder what Ministry would sound like with some free-jazz elements claiming one of their songs, and then I have “Nursing Home” to blast. Not to mention if I ever get a yearning for what Ministry might have sounded like if they originated in the Eastern regions of the world, then DSOTS allows me the luxury to have “Eureka Pile” on call. 

None of these tracks really have anything in common with each other than what enters my mind every time I put them on: This record has everything I could ever want within 10 songs, and while I’m not going to thank his dealer for all that junk he sold Jourgensen during this period, I’m not going to denounce him either; no, in this particular case I am more then willing to let it slide. 

In a way, I always saw this record as a prime example of pure brilliance that may inspire other musicians to attempt similar ultra-hedonistic activities during recording sessions in an effort to achieve such a seemingly effortless feat. Except then I realized nobody else really likes Dark Side of the Spoon, and I was relieved. That would be a very unhealthy precedent to set, and if all bands thought as highly of this record as I do, then they’d all be either dead or in Betty Ford clinics. Plus we’d have some really messy, paint-filled canvases that would just get thrown out in the harsh light of day. 

Whenever I think of Ministry and their fans, I’m reminded of that Voltaire quote, “God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.” The existence of Dark Side of the Spoon proves that Jourgensen is a guy who has the potential to constantly try new and different ideas not present on past releases, but when nobody laughed at the right times, he chickened out and started making shitty, paint-by-numbers records like Animositisomina and Rio Grande Blood, albums warranting zero artistic or inventive merit. 

I remember reading one interview years ago with Jourgensen where the interviewer prefaced it by saying, “Just to be clear, I am interviewing Al Jourgensen of Revolting Cocks, not of Ministry.” I thought that was pretty funny, and if I ever get the chance to sit down with him, I will definitely take a cue from that interview and request to talk to the Dark Side of the Spoon Al Jourgensen. Nothing against the other records—I just wouldn’t want him saying the same thing over and over.

Listen: ”Nursing Home“ [at youtube.com]

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