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Primus at Sacramento Memorial Auditorium, 1030 15th Street, Suite 100, Sacramento, CA on Sep 14
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Fang: Landshark
Fang
Landshark
(Boner Records, 1982)
There’s a lot of self-righteousness and condescension in punk. The majority of clueless dopes I have met wearing studded leather jackets and Misfits patches in this country love nothing more than knowing they were into the Exploited before their purple-haired neighbor, a fact that’s both funny and sad at the same time. No wonder the state was never officially smashed and Ronald Reagan lived the remainder of his life in relative peace (as opposed to being kidnapped and tortured by the Feederz)—everyone was too busy standing around bitching about poseurs and how awesome Iggy was before Dinah Shore knew who he was.
Luckily, there’s usually someone thinking ahead of the curve, a group or person actually being so punk they put everyone else in their class to shame. Fang was such a group. Their sloppy 1983 debut Landshark was so punk it was grunge, a decade before that genre’s sludgy rhythms and ear-splitting feedback were en vogue. Indeed, four years before the first Melvins record, these California miscreants were slowing down the breakneck speed of hardcore (but not losing any of the ferocity) on musical laments such as “Law & Order” and “Diary of a Mad Werrwoulf.” The guitars creak and squeal painfully between a loose assembly of chords; their thick, viscous sound almost completely blankets the rhythm section (good luck locating any bass here). On top of it all, singer Sam McBride (alias Sammytown) affected the perfect drugged-out, laissez faire vocal style, a style that would be aped by half of Seattle 10 years later.
A few speedy numbers exist on Landshark, including the title track (which is about a car, not the Saturday Night Live skit), “Destroy the Handicapped” (which doesn’t come close to surpassing the Necros’ ultimate cripple-bashing anthem “Take It Up”), and “Skinheads Smoke Dope” (which, according to Fang, “ain’t no fuckin’ joke”). It’s the slower tunes that are most intriguing, though, particularly the album’s opener, “The Money Will Roll Right In.” This two-minute dirge perfectly parodies the empty, fame-obsessed mindset seen in the most generic of rock stars (“I’m going to Hollywood, they’ll see that I’m so good / I won’t care how I feel, and I’ll get to fuck Brooke Shields”).
Hilarious and brilliant, “Money” would eventually be covered by Nirvana and Mudhoney at the height of the American flannel-rock movement (not to be confused with that grunge scene in Thailand you keep hearing so much about).
I suppose it would be utterly cliché to point out the fact that both Nirvana and Mudhoney were, or became, exactly the kind of people Fang were targeting in “Money”, thus making their decision to cover that song at any point in their respective careers ironic/oxymoronic/completely stupid. Well, I’m going to do it anyway. Every member of Nirvana had (and might still have) approximately more money than Jesus, the Pope, and Ted Knight combined. To suggest otherwise is to admit you were either in a coma or trapped at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean between the years of 1991 and 1994. As for Mudhoney, they may have never been rolling in it, but they literally went to Hollywood in 1996 and made an appearance (with actual lines!) in the Chris Farley/David Spade comedy Black Sheep. I don’t care how many 10-minute psych instrumentals with backwards soloing you put on your albums, guys. You were still in a movie co-starring Gary Busey and Christine Ebersole. I hope one of you at least got to make out with Brooke Shields a little bit.
But I digress. One might assume Fang themselves completely disavowed the almighty dollar or the eternal quest for it, but I’m not so sure. Yes, they penned the ultimate fame-and-fortune diss, but their unofficial (possibly official) motto was always “we are cool, give us money.” The second Fang album, Where the Wild Things Are, features the boisterous “I Wanna Be On TV”, a less clear piss-take than “Money.” Who knows, maybe Fang really did want to be on TV. Maybe they did want the money to roll right in. Maybe they were just out for massive popularity and piles of dough like everybody else. They’re still around, and they have a MySpace page. Is that punk? I’d better go ask the guy in the Crass shirt who hangs out at the liquor store down the street.
Listen: Various Tracks [at myspace.com]
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4 Comments
Nice piece except for your Mudhoney bashing. You seriously think that because they were in one terrible movie (that never recouped its investment at the box office) that they became the people the song “Money Will Roll Right In” targets? I’ve seen Mudhoney, I’ve met Mudhoney, I’ve hung out with Mudhoney. When they play Chicago, they still play the same sized venues they played 20 years ago (smaller, actually). None of those guys are even close to rolling in it, and their egos certainly don’t reflect the values “Money” lambasts. It’s a shame, really. Nirvana got famous opening for Mudhoney and then left them in the dust when Nevermind hit. I always though, and still think now, that Mudhoney is a better band. And talk about consistency. They’ve put out some duds, but the gems far outweigh those. What did Nirvana do? Nevermind. Bleach was a great first effort but lacked the qualities that eventually propelled them to fame. And everything after Nevermind is pretty lame, with the exception of a song here or there. Mudhoney is a shining example of a band that has stayed true to their roots and not allowed their egos to become inflated over an almost-25-year career. Longer if you count Green River, Mr. Epp, and the countless other bands those guys were in. Bottom line, to target Mudhoney as a band that reflects the lamentations of “Money” is totally off target and wrong. Melvins have sold their souls to a HUGE degree compared to any of those other Seattle bands that are still around.
You know, I was really hoping you were going for a Lloyd Bentsen joke with that “I’ve seen Mudhoney, I’ve met Mudhoney” bit. You really dropped the ball.
I like Mudhoney a lot, actually. Maybe they’re keeping it real and they have their egos in check. I just think it’s funny that they made the ultimate tacked on appearance in one of the most forgettable mainstream movies of 1996. Clearly, at some point they thought they were something.
I don’t want you to think I’m mocking you or anything, I genuinely appreciate your input here. Please explain how the Melvins sold their souls, if you don’t mind. I, for one, think they’ve managed to stay pretty true to the game.
I get your reference, and you are no Jack Kennedy, Senator. My point was that, to say a band has “sold out” because they were in one bad movie is totally ridiculous and wrong-headed. And let’s be honest, when that movie came out Farley was fucking hilarious and Spade had not yet begun his slide into idiocy. Who wouldn’t have done a cameo in that movie simply to hang out with those guys? William Burroughs was in Twister. Does that mean he “sold out” also? One movie wipes away the powerful influence he had over the Beats of the 1950s, the hippies of the 1960s, the punk movement of the late 1970s and 1980s. He was in one awful movie (waaaaaay worse than Black Sheep), and therefore we should distil his life to that, right? That’s essentially what you’re doing to Mudhoney. Never mind that there would have been no grunge movement without them; never mind that there would have been no Nirvana (as we know them) without them; never mind their influence, period. They were in one shit-flop movie and should be castigated mercilessly for it. Right? Well, that’s ludicrous.
As far as how I “dropped the ball,” I really don’t understand. I wasn’t trying to say “I hung out with Mudhoney; I’m so cool.” Rather, I’m saying “Hey, I spent time with these guys, and they are the ANTITHESIS of selling out.” My first-person experience with those guys trumps any bullshit foundationless judgment you’re passing based upon the band’s appearance in one bad movie. Your comment, “at some point they thought they were something” indicates that you clearly don’t “get it.” They weren’t in fucking Black Sheep to try to launch some big-time movie career. They were in Black Sheep because they liked those SNL guys and thought it would be fun. Had you done even a little bit of research on the Internet before you ran your mouth and said they sold out, you would have found material about this, including an interview with Arm where he says they did the movie because they thought it would be “weird and fun.”
As far as the Melvins are concerned, I’ll simply point to their ticket prices and overblown (no pun intended) venues. Mudhoney is charging $18 this tour, which is $5 more than I paid to see them just over six years ago. However, it’s still just over half what it costs to see the Melvins. When I saw Mudhoney in 2001 they played the Empty Bottle, perhaps the smallest, coolest venue in Chicago. They played two nights in a row. Both were sold out, tickets were a hot commodity online, and there were tons of people outside who wanted tickets. Clearly, they could have moved the shows to a larger venue—the Metro, the Riv, the Aragon, etc. But they didn’t. This time around (in two weeks) they will be playing the Bottom Lounge, another tiny-ass place that also will sell out (if it hasn’t already). See, they believe in playing shows that maintain that intimacy that is lost in a larger venue. And they believe in charging fair prices for their tickets. The Melvins (at least in Chicago) charge $30+ for the show, which is invariably at a place about three or four times the size of the venues Mudhoney plays. Don’t get me wrong, the Melvins don’t play enormous concert halls or anything, but they play in venues where that intimacy with the performance is lost. And who needs that? Also, after a Melvins show, where is the band? Backstage pulling bongs. After a Mudhoney show, the band hangs out and talks with the audience. They sign stuff. They drink beers with their fans and don’t go backstage sometimes until the venue is closing and the fans are being ushered out. That’s old school, my friend. That’s “staying true to the game.”
You know what’s weird and fun? Fang. That’s why I wrote this article. I never intended a cheap shot at Mudhoney, a band I honestly like, to mushroom into this. I apologize to Seattle profusely.