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Metallica: … And Justice for Some
I remember the year, the place, the song. I remember it because it was that singular, insulated moment that sent me willingly, insatiably, down the path towards being a rock ‘n’ roll fan for life, constantly on the hunt for more amazing moments that recaptured the very first time rock punched me in the gut, epitomized every thing I had ever felt up until that moment, and left me changed forever.
The year: 1989, I was 13-years-old.
The place: The backseat of a car (get your mind out of the gutter), stereo turned up loud.
The song: Metallica, “One.”
To be truthful, even after this significant happening in my life, it was an unclear path towards having actual taste in music for a long while due to lack of money and growing up in a small town where by the time a trend made its way there it was already over. We did have one record store called Sea and Sound where a customer could do one of two things: Buy music or buy some tropical fish. Sounds like something that would pop up with a sense of irony in Brooklyn, but it was my small town and it was anything but ironic. Until my early teenage years, I was, frankly, more into fish. Then, by the time I was old enough to realize how potentially awesome Sea and Sound could be, it was gone.
Right around the awkward, squeamish age of 13, something happened. All of the sudden I was fucking pissed. But this feeling of hatred bubbling within me was one that was hard to identify at first. Up to that point it was all playtime and make-believe and The Cosby Show and whatever the radio or my older brother told me to listen to. And, as any good parents would do for their kids, I otherwise existed in a world masked, void of anything all that bad. But around 13… well, that’s when I wised up and began seeing for myself how things actually were. I began to seek out independence from parental guidance—the freedom to choose for myself. Unfortunately I chose not to study, and I started failing at math and then at school in general. Our nation was facing a war. Many of my friend’s parents started splitting up. My own family had its problems like anyone else. I was finding that life was full of bullshit and broadsides, that ugly existed in many forms, and it was all coming at me in one big wave of teenage drama. I felt like a monster amongst many strange monsters.
We started going to parties. Beer, music, makin’ out, rebellion… these four things felt like the answer to all that was wrong. The only truth in the world during that time seemed to be in those moments with friends as the injustices of the world slowly began to unfold before us, towering over us like monuments of suck. And as these things began to reveal themselves, so did my own personal disillusionment (which continues on to this very day). I was a classic case, really. I even had the terrible journals filled with depressive, introspective “poetry.”
Enter Metallica’s “One”… this was the only time I heard “One” where I didn’t want to headbang. I, instead, sat there, floored. I wanted to rewind the tape and listen to it again and again, forever more. However, it had just played from the car stereo, and the radio station moved on to some other song that was now obviously cheap and meaningless. And yet, it also acted as validation that what I just heard before it was truth and victory rolled into this righteous middle-finger of a song.
Finally, I was awakened to what the guitar was capable of, what shifts in momentum, in intensity, could do for conveying emotion. How tone-setting those war sounds were in the beginning, and then how beautiful the introductory soloing was, but then also scary as the lyrics kicked in: “I can’t remember anything / Can’t tell if this is truth or dream / Deep down inside I feel to scream / This terrible silence stops me.” And it then got so abrasive, filled with a yearning hatred. I began reckoning with how this furious bile coming from the car speakers was juxtaposed with how comforted I was by it: “Hold my breath as I wish for death / Oh please God wake me / Now the world is gone / I’m just one / Oh please help me.” Then comes the part where the double bass pedal takes over with that machine gun effect, the guitars following suit, and Hetfield snaps: “Darkness imprisoning me / All that I see / Absolute horror / I cannot live / I cannot die / Trapped in myself / Body holding my cell.” How long was this song going to go on for anyway? Its unruly length seemed unprecedented for the radio at the time. And, man, how awesome the long final freak out was where the dueling guitars shred, ripping to pieces all of the prevailing discontent and fear. The most important aspect of this aural revelry, however, was how people this angry were allowed to voice it… on the radio! This wasn’t the party metal of Van Halen and Motley Crüe that I was previously accustomed to. No. This was a revelation. These were the kind of people only a few mere years before, in their grim black t-shirts and frizzy long hair, my babysitter would invite over to eat all our food and chain-smoke on the back porch. I now understood them. In that moment I felt completely aware, alive, and… for a repulsive teenager with bad hair and bad clothes… kind of cool. I felt justified in all my embryonic misery. There were people out there that were like me, and we were livid.
As if this wasn’t enough, I soon after discovered the video for “One.” Black and white footage of the band alone in an abandoned warehouse huddled next to the drum kit; I could see the anger and disgust in their faces, the dexterity of their solos, the hostile drumming. Clips from the movie Johnny Got His Gun interplaying with shots of the band gave an affecting nod to the distressed, tragic edge that’s an underside to the whole song. No scantily clad, hot-to-party bimbos straddling sport cars. No posturing, no jumps, no gratuitous crotch shots of banana yellow spandex. This song, about a severely wounded soldier with no arms, and no legs, unable to speak, hear, or see… a prisoner of his own body, became an anthem for all of us that felt alone, in a crowd, in a world full of people that couldn’t hear our pleas. My mind was officially blown.
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19 Comments
love this piece!!!
So basically you’re saying artists shouldn’t make money. No wonder Metallica sued Napster, because fans like you think that you’re entitled to the fruits of their labor. And you’re telling me you had “no viable alternative” to downloading off Limewire? Haven’t you ever heard of iTunes?
Also, while we’re on the subject, why is it the store’s fault that you couldn’t hear the full song on Limewire? They just got robbed of money because of something they have no control over. Haven’t you ever heard the song “…And Justice for All”? It’s about jerks like you. Metallica may have been anti-mainstream, but they never advocated stealing.
Finally, I find it hard to believe you couldn’t find a full version of One on LimeWire…because I just did. And 95 users were hosting the file. Do you even understand how file-sharing works?
Finally, sorry to pick on you, but you missed the point of the song because you were such a stereotypically angsty teenager. Do you really think the song is an “anthem for all of us that felt alone, in a crowd, in a world full of people that couldn’t hear our pleas”? Really? So when did you get blown up by a landmine and turned into a vegetable, Mr. My-Life-is-Pain? Lyrically, what makes this song so great is that it shows the horrifyingly sad perspective of a war victim. You don’t need to relate to the song in order to get it, and in your case you actually diminished the meaning of the song into an emo kid’s plea for help. You’re basically making metalheads such as myself look like depressed losers, when the main reason I and many others listen to metal is because of the complexity of the music and the diverse lyrics.
A: First and foremost, it’s Ms. My-Life-Is-Pain.
B: I think artists should make money, but they shouldn’t shun their fans in the process… the ones who give a flying fuck about them at all. I understand file-sharing, it’s Metallica that doesn’t. The proof is, full-length downloads have proven to inspire purchase.
C: iTunes wasn’t a part of my vocabulary in 2002.
D: Was there a full-length version of One is 2002? This is six years later, so I’m not sure what point you have. Plus, why are you stealing music?
E: It’s not the store’s fault and I apologized in public for taking from them. I did, however, go back and buy an expensive game console from them years later so I could play “One” on guitar hero. So, it’s not everything, but it’s something.
F: You can’t fault me for being an angsty teenager. Sorry I wasn’t one of the legions of brutish metalheads that you are referring to, that don’t feel any anguish or pain, only sing about it because it’s grim. The song empowered me as a 13-year-old. Sorry you missed that. The song didn’t make me depressed, it made me feel stronger as a person. The song, while I know isn’t about me and my “emoness”, carried symbolic meaning for me. The lyrics transformed for me, which is what most songs do for people.
G: What does diversity of lyrics mean to you?
I hate Metallica. A lot. I think they stand for everything that was terrible about greedy musicians who got filthy fucking rich in the 80/90s, then freaked out when technology became such that they might have to try scraping by on the measly sum of money they make through touring and merchandising. Their reaction to Napster was emblematic of an entire industry that’s unwilling to change its ways in hopes of continuing to thrive, while also giving their customers what they want and know they can get, with or without their approval.
But that’s besides the point.
To address your final point, one could argue that the song is so effective and, as much as I hate to admit it, important because of how easily it’s meaning could be co-opted by so many people. It’s neither a stretch nor an obnoxious condescension for a listener — especially a young one — to interpret a piece of music as it relates to themselves. It’s what’s been happening for years, and it’s what will continue to happen for a long, long time, with or without emo.
Also, I commend your dedication to metal as a technically impressive art-form, though I have to disagree with your wholesale denial of the fact that many young metal-heads are/were very much the same as today’s emo kids you so detest, albeit dressed slightly differently.
First off, great piece. I was a bit older and lived in the Bay Area, so by the time Metallica was playing small clubs in the East Bay, I was already a snobby punk who wouldn’t go near a thrash metal show and it took me a while to come back to, hey, it’s okay to like metal….and what Metallica did by letting “Some Kind of Monster” come out on film that didn’t quite show them in the best light ranked high on my respect for them.
Now to self righteous, humorless, pain in the ass, Anon, who is so hugely successful, the person has chosen to hide their identity….or such an obvious asshole that deep down he/she knows not to actually take responsibility for being a prick.
Metallica deserves to be stolen. I’m not saying people should steal Metalicca, but a poor couple in NYC who need a Metalicca fix, steal it baby! Lars is an asshole, has always been the asshole of the group and their sucking record company brownhole by making their statement against napster really backfired on them.
Get off of this pathetic subject b/c record companies need to completely change their ancient ways of bilking their artists out of royalties and when a Nirvana record hits, it’s the lawyers and execs who make a whole lot more than what ends up trickling down to Cobain and crew….or that chick who killed him.
Dave Grohl said it best in an interview when asked about people downloading his music for free. He said, if you’re making millions as an arena rock star (like himself) and complaining that people are stealing your music, you need to fuck off. Amen Grohl has stayed a bit grounded.
The song is about a war victim, so fucking what? There’s an anger in the music that resonates with Jocelyn. Hell, it resonates with me. As a teen, who could really understand the horror of the lyrics and what its about….all they hear is the anger and it speaks to them. Just like Black Flag spoke to me at the right time…I didn’t understand the lyrics like I do now, but I knew someone was as angry as I was.
Now if you choose to make any other whiny comments re: this article, get unpathetic and don’t post Anon.
Jocelyn, great stuff!
Good piece, until the end. I wish you people would do some research. It wasn’t about the money, it was the principle of the thing. Metallica has been quoted in saying that they overreacted because they have always protected their music with a strong hand. They said when they heard about it, they just ACTED. They didn’t care about the money.
But even IF that was a small part of it, which one of you would allow people to just take your hard-earned money by writing music? I know you all would say “I would” just to make a crappy half-assed point, but honestly not one of you can say if you made music you’d give it away for free, condemning your family…not getting the money you deserve for your job.
Now am I saying Metallica would have gone bankrupt had Napster stayed? No. They did it not just for themselves protecting their music, but for bands out there who are just starting. There are many bands, including alice in Chains and such who applaud Metallica’s action. How do we expect new artists to emerge if music is just stolen?
You all can be mad at Metallica for standing up for principle if you want, but don’t be mad at them for a reason that’s not even true.
LONG LIVE METALLICA
Yes, you were clearly duped by Metallica into downloading an incomplete version of One…laughable. The first page of the article was good however.
Did this shit get picked up by some nerdy-ass Metallica message board or something? The stupid is coming at an alarming rate.
What I want to know is how you poor broke kids were able to afford multiple beers, including that one last beer that caused you to download an incomplete version (Metallica’s fault, obviously) of the song and then to steal the whole CD the next day. Did you steal all that beer too? Why not? Beer is a RIGHT, man! One could argue that Busch (or insert your favorite brewer) shouldn’t alienate its fanbase by making it BUY beer. Busch makes more money than it knows what to do with. It should just give the beer to the broke kids who love it so and need a fix, baby!
it’s amazing. when broke, i can go out with $5 and still get drunk. good friends will buy you a beer or two. i’ve tried to make it up to them since then, forever grateful for their generosity. i would’ve done the same for metallica had they lent me one little song. and i’m sure, through promotions or whatever, brewing companies have given me plenty of free beers over the years.
Metallica for life!!!
Jocelyn, this is a great article!
love love love your comment “A: First and foremost, it’s Ms. My-Life-Is-Pain”… that made me lol.
Hilarious, if you don’t have the money to buy something and really want it badly, stealing is okay? Wow, where’s the next Ferrari-dealer, because I really want a Testarossa – badly! I think that most records companies have brought their current misery upon themselves with poor releases over the last years, but downloading has gone way out of hand, I know people who have thousands of songs and never bought any of them. And there are lots of them. I am proud that I own a large record collection I worked hard on getting, hard to get the necessary cash, but I’m glad for every pence I spent, I am proud of my collection, and would never steal from my favorite artist, no matter how filthy rich.
fuck metallica, they have sucked since cliff died and they used up his riff tapes for “and justice” good job on the theft, no one deserves it more.
Stealing wasn’t the overriding theme of the article, it was the punchline. metallica deserved it.
Let the Gods of Metal be Thy final judge!
ironically the link in You Tube is no longer available because,that’s right! you guessed it WMG pulled it
which is why Metallica will always suck no matter how good their music is
Nice article, though