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Straight to Video
Rock Art Rock
Jay Reatard
October 2008
Music Hall of Williamsburg, Brooklyn, NY
By Andres Jauregui "Before I bought my DSLR (a present to myself the day I got axed from a shitty office job), I took pictures on a lowly point-and-shoot..."
Thee Oh Sees
July 2009
Glasslands Gallery, Brooklyn, NY
By Andres Jauregui "I shot this trippy double exposure on the front line of a particularly raucous, incredibly sweaty set that kicked off Thee Oh Sees' swing..."
R. Stevie Moore
November 2008
Cake Shop, New York, NY
By Andres Jauregui "Eli Moore (no relation) from LAKE turned me on to his mentor, R. Stevie Moore, during an interview for Crawdaddy!, so when LAKE opened for R. Stevie in November of 2008, I had to check him out..."
Say No! To Architecture
June 2009
Death By Audio, Brooklyn, NY
By Andres Jauregui "Allen Roizman's one-man-band blew me away at the otherwise sleepy inaugural Northside Festival this past June. Death By Audio is a hub for under-the-radar talent in Brooklyn..."
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Hall of Fame My Ass
Prior to writing this article, I spent a great deal of time fussing over how exactly to describe what it was I felt while meandering through the Holy Walls of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Museum, located in Cleveland, Ohio. See, many of you may not have had the opportunity to enter this hallowed sanctum, and it is very important to me that I perfectly articulate how the ghosts of music’s past entered my soul and made a beeline for my wallet. The only problem is standard depiction wouldn’t be sufficient, since it wouldn’t adequately express an institution of such magnificent divinity. So I’ll refer to a scene in the Alexander Payne-directed 2004 movie, Sideways.
In an attempt to cheer up his friend Myles, a rabid wine connoisseur (and also a perpetual failure), Jack takes him to a heavily-populated, tourist-oriented vineyard that essentially focuses on catering to the lowest-common denominator, towards anyone who enjoys the taste of wine a few times a year, read about the vineyard in a pamphlet, and still can’t understand why you just don’t chill pinot noir. Of course, the samples tasted fine to Jack, but here’s what Myles had to say when he tried it:
“Tastes like the back of a fucking LA school bus. Now they probably didn’t de-stem, hoping for some semblance of concentration, crushed it up with leaves and mice, and then wound up with this rancid tar and turpentine mouthwash bullshit. Fucking raid.”
You could also say that I felt like Paul Westerberg in that Replacements song “Answering Machine”, where he’s just screaming into a phone with nobody on the other end.
So really, what it comes down to is that, since I wasn’t one of those tourists with khaki shorts and black tube socks stuffed into athletic sneakers filing off tour buses by the dozen, I harboured zero appreciation for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, much in the same way Myles didn’t dig on an institution that can only succeed if the people who give them money know absolutely nothing about the subject at hand, and, more importantly, probably only care about it for the duration of the narrated tour.
Okay, enough analogies. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame really sucks if you care about music in the slightest. It’s a $65 million monstrosity that is the physical embodiment of the institution of rock ‘n’ roll, and that’s a lot of money plopped down in the name of an inherent contradiction. I could spend this entire article mocking the irony of a music foundation with an overwhelming dedication to exclusivity and elitism, and then having the balls to include a band like the Clash who spent their entire career fighting against such ideology, but then I’d start to feel like Westerberg again.
It’s true that I’m adamantly opposed to the very existence of such a place, but if our society does require a corporeal quintessence of the music we hold in high regard, couldn’t it at least be a democracy? If American Idol has taught us anything it’s that the people want to be heard. Leaving the selection process up to Jann Wenner (CEO of Rolling Stone and co-founder of the museum) and his lapdogs seems a little ridiculous since, after all, we are the ones who will be shelling out $22 to take the mind-numbing tour. A reasonable response to this request might be along the same lines to suggestions that only politically-educated people should be allowed to vote in federal elections: “Not enough people know what they’re talking about to make well-informed decisions.” So before you do say that, let me debunk that notion.
These so called “panel experts” generally receive a ballot in the mail, including the names of the nominees, and a small blurb extolling the virtues of each specific nominee no more then a paragraph long. Then, if that still doesn’t ring any bells with these esteemed scholars, a small audio clip is included with each band’s package, generally containing the band’s most popular hit. So if these voters can’t for the life of them remember who Fleetwood Mac was, well, fear not, because they have an mp3 file of “Go Your Own Way” to jog their memory. And here is where you may have so callously assumed the boneheaded public lacked the resources or knowledge to make these sorts of monumental decisions. Now that you know the comprehensive process that goes into selecting the inductees, hopefully you won’t be making that presumption again.
Since I’m personally not a musician, I’ve always wondered how exactly bands find their sound, and thanks to the Hall of Fame’s “The Beat Goes On” exhibit, and its subsequent reduction of that process to simple mathematical equations, I will never have to wonder about that again. For example:
The Melvins + The Pixies = Nirvana!
I’m eternally grateful for this insider’s perspective that discredits the illusion that music creation is a complex process. Apparently, all I have to do is find two diverse musical influences, add them together, and poof: I’m set to start a platinum-selling band. Thank you, Mr. Wenner!
The museum has six official floors, all accessible by escalator, except the nadir of the journey—the temple atop the pyramid that truly feels like a sanctuary of sorts—is only accessible on foot. There are no windows. Instead the room has the “immortals of rock” etched into the walls, hence Buddy Holly and John Lennon essentially give patrons light, and you know what? I might have been able to overlook this ridiculous biblical imagery if there was at least an attempt by the museum to end the tour in a semi-mystic fashion, allowing me to bask in the sacred power these rock gods have just instilled in me.
But no. There was no spiritual awakening for this tourist, which became obvious when I realized I had to amble all the way back to the bottom of the pyramid. And what was waiting for me there? No… not a musical epiphany, but instead a big, fat HMV outlet. The guest is left no choice but to leave the museum through the record store, and here it ends. Turns out it’s a museum just like any other, forcing you to wade through aisles of key chains and fridge-magnets just to leave the damn place. If the Hall of Fame represents the Church of Rock ‘n’ Roll, then this just goes to prove what I’ve been saying for years: the church and state must always be kept separate.
» Previously: Not Fade Away
24 Comments
This is an insight into the mind of the rock and roll addict. An assault to the eyes as is the music to the ears. Kentucky bloke
Saved me a trip. I always wondered.
the place sucks what more can you say,
I am taken aback by the irony of a thread like this appearing on the same page as an ad for “Rolling Stones Ringtones.”
woly moly folks, let’s not forget we’re reading a particular column here! “OVER A BEER” it is for opinions and conversation starters – no need to get nasty about the heritage of Crawdaddy! take things with a grain of salt folks!
As the main ‘Over A Beer’ page states:
“Oftentimes, as music lovers, we find ourselves in the depths of analytical discussions about music. These conversations range from the mundane to the insightful, from intimately personal to sweeping commentary. These kinds of talks, of course, usually always occur over a beer.”
When was this written?? His physical description of the facility is totally inaccurate. You do not need to visit the (probably best in the city) record store to exit any aspect of the building. The backlit names and signatures of the inductees hasn’t been on the top floor for many years. This top floor (accesible by elevator) currently has a pretty good exhibit on The Doors, and some that preceded it included The Who, The Supremes, and the Bob Dylan show currently in L.A. The induction process is also unlike most of what he describes, and personally I can think of very little that would be desirable from anything even remotely similar to any aspect of what “American Idol has taught us”.
The museum which is independent of the New York based Foundation is a wonderful collection of artifacts and displays of great and glorious moments from the grand history of rock.
Some may not enjoy seeing the bass Paul Simonon smashes on the cover of “London Calling” or the suit John Lennon wears on the cover of “Sgt. Pepper” or the dulcimer Brian Jones plays on “Lady Jane” or the thousands of other objects and multi-media experiences available at this extraordinary site. Those people,obviously, shouldn’t attend. For many others it is an incredible experience that can’t really be absorbed in a single day.
This type of uninformed nonsense betrays the heritage of Paul Williams and what the name of Crawdaddy! used to stand for.
Any entity that would place the likes of Blondie, The Cars, and The Jackson Five alongside Hendrix, the Beatles, and the Stones deserves to die a thousand deaths a thousand times. What, no Monkees exhibit?
Original Crawdaddy Reader, you sound like you work for the Hall of Fame museum. “best record store in town”? Give us a break.
To Original Crawdaddy Reader,
It’s clear you took offense to the spirit and information given in the article, so I’ll take some time to refute your accusations.
If there was an exit that didn’t go through the HMV outlet I sure iddn’t see it, nor did anyone (read: not one)of the other people exiting the museum. I suppose there probably is an alternative exit,but the museum certainly doesn’t go to any lengths to show the guests where it is, and from my experience, the museum is set up in such a way that the HMV exit is the one that everyone used. I can’t imagine how it would be significantly different for the majority of tourist groups.
As for your statement that the HMV is the best record store in the city, I don’t live in Cleveland,but I have been to many cities, and from my experience, HMV’s are never the best source for rock n’ roll (unless you’re looking for the new Billy Talent record), due to exorbitant pricing, lack of hard-to-find albums, and just a generally corporate atmosphere, certainly no sense of community in there like the best record stores. For example, I’ve been to countless HMV stores, and in every single one, The Stooges are listed under pop/rock, not the punk section, despite them being generally considered as the Godfathers of the punk genre. Sure this is just one example of improper categorization, but it just goes to show the extent of musical knowledge and ensuing lack of respect for their patrons by not even bothering to put seminal bands like The Stooges in their proper place. Maybe the HMV you’re referring to is superior to most, but that doesn’t change the fact that it still represents everything all HMV’s do: rock n’ roll residing in the belly of capitalism. Yuck. Ok, MAYBE this particular outlet has Big Star’s 3rd Album/Sister Lovers in stock, but do you think the majority of HMV’s would carry a record like this, or many like it?
You may not like American Idol, neither do I, but if rock n’ roll has taught us anything, it’s that it gives people a voice of their own. To create an establishment aimed at giving people a higher education in the world of rock music, and refusing to let those people choose what bands they are allowoed to immortalize/learn more about….now that more then anything betrays the heritage of rock n’ roll, and subsequently everything Crawdaddy/Paul Williams stands for.
I do take offense to the induction process being little of what I described. Is it not true that there is a list of voters chosen mainly by Wenner? You mentioned how the induction process I mentioned was erroneus, but it’s a well-known fact that ballots are sent to 500 ‘rock experts’and the inductions are left entirely in their hands. Maybe you believe that’s the proper method for nominations, but that’s a whole different discussion, and I stand by my stance that’s the farthest thing from democratic I can possibly imagine. I guess what else can you really expect from an institution that’s run by a guy who’s the Editor-in-Chief at Rolling Stone, and is known for firing writers who dare to write negative reviews of platinum-selling bands.
The rest of your criticisms were rooted in your enjoyment of the museum, and while I’m glad you took pleasure in the museum’s superficial displays masquerading as ‘important rock n’ roll artifacts’, the fact remains they’re aesthetically pleasing to only those who appreciate cheap nostalgia. Just because you took great solace in seeing John Lennon’s suit he actually wore on Sgt. Pepper, or Paul Simon’s smashed bass, don’t assume others will consider them as epic an experience as you did.
This is an institution where elitism reigns supreme, where the energy of rock music is reduced to flash cards and overwhelming multimedia displays, and if you think that’s the best way to embody the spirit of rock n’ roll, then I guess there’s nothing more we can really talk about.
J
OK Jeff – had your rant. Feel better? Or is it exactly what it sounds like – you are coping an attitude to give you a point to make?
I’ll admit – I’ve stayed away from the RnRHOF because I always thought the concept of a big-dollar museum was counter to what the origins of Rock were all about. But your shrill put-downs of equally valid emotional reactions to the icons in the HOF certainly calls your judgements into question. Name calling doesn’t win debates. In fact, it calls into question the validity of your facts. So next time, try to chill. No need to ‘protect’ your point of view from other views by insulting those that disagree.
Russ,
Pretty sure I didn’t call Crawdaddy Reader one single name throughout.
Any negative points made here are probably correct, but come on, what did you expect, that someone was going to spend $100 million (or however much it cost) to put up a building like this and NOT try to turn it into a cash cow? For all your valid complaints, however, I offer two rebuttals. One, this is where a 13-year-old kid MIGHT wander in and learn about Jackie Wilson, or Sam Cooke, or some others who aren’t even inducted, and where else could that possibly happen? And, two, this is where I saw part of the wreckage of Otis Redding’s plane, the Nudie suits worn by Hillman and Parsons in the Flying Burrito Brothers, and Westerberg’s handwritten lyrics to Here Comes A Regular. I’ll overlook a lot of bad stuff in exchange for the good, if it’s THAT good.
i found jeffrey’s rebuttal to be rather level-headed. not shrill at all. “original” crawdaddy reader called to question the validity of his article, not the writer himself. jeffrey has every right to come back and address those points. if nothing else, this is what the comments section is for. it’s not a vacuum. it’s a place for open discussion.
I was there fairly recently e kraft, and I did exit through the hmv store on the way out. I also saw the sanctuary, although it has now been moved from the top floor. Even still, seems like nitpicking from the main them of the article.
You have to wonder if the wine in the Sideways scene was really that bad. Maybe Myles just had some issues and used his expertise to make himself feel worthy.
I agree that there’s a certain irony in trying to fit rock and roll into a museum, but give me a break. I thought it was cool. I wonder when you wrote this too. There’s no HMV store there and the hall of fame sanctuary hasn’t been there for years. You also missed the point. Do you think that rock is an art form? If so, do you think that it has the power to transform individuals and affect our politics (think Vietnam, Civil right, the last few elections, Bono in Africa, etc.). Van Gogh would probably have an similar criticism of the Met, but it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to have this type of place. My kid went an school class there and they taught him about Billie Holiday and “strange fruit.” Powerful stuff. If you think that rock is an art form and you believe that we need to protect and study the art form (and teach it to our kids), then you ought to give the place a fair shot. I thought they did a bang up job and yeah, I kinda dug seeing Lennon’s passport, Morrison’s death certificate and handwritten lyrics from Hendrix, Westerberg and the Sex Pistols. Don’t be a hater, dude. It’s not good for your health.
It truly is a disgrace, run by Rolling Stone’s Wenner, thus reducing rebellion to some Madison Avenue scam – and check out the hall’s tax forms – $4.2 million in gvt grants in tax year 2005 – what a bunch of welfare pussies, going to the gvt for some handouts – there are plenty of other worthwhile sites around the U.S. to see – check out the book Rock and Roll Road Trip by A.M. Nolan
I understand the general contradiction inherent in having a “rock n’ roll museum”. However, being a music lover born in 1964, and therefore, missing by virtue of age many key musical milestones (i.e. the Beatles and Stones conquering America, Woodstock, Dylan playing small bars in Greenwich Village, the MC5 and Stooges playing the Grande Ballroom in Detroit – or The Who or Pink Floyd for that matter, Max’s Kansas City and etc…), visiting the Hall of Fame was very fun. And that’s the real point isn’t it? To be able to look at old rock artifacts; such as Mick Ronson’s Gibson or actually read the production notes from Brian Eno when he was working with U2 on the Unforgettable Fire LP (very cool), and fall into a bit of the ole hereo worship thing – is fun and harmless. At least it is for a true music lover. Yes, it’s escapism, but so what. I left the museum after spending the better part of a day there, thoroughly pleased and surprised by how much I enjoyed the visit.
Are there aspects of the museum that could be better – yes, but you could say that about any museum. Could the selection process be better – probably, but overall I feel whomever does the selection, they have done a fairly decent job. Of course, there are bands that I don’t feel should be there (Van Halan comes to mind), but that’s just my opinion – and that’s part of the fun too isn’t it – to debate about who’s in and who’s been ignored (like the countless “greatest of all time” lists that are so popular).
If nothing else, this museum helps ensure that many many people, who put there entire life into their art, will not be forgotten. Watching the Hall of Fame members movie brought that message home to me in spades. Museums are necessary for history’s sake. If you can have fun, reminisce and enjoy yourself in the process, then I say Rock On Brother and Rock on Hall of Fame!
i would love to go,just to sea the instruments would be a thrill.i think peeple think to much about what it all means. besides you cant go anywhere without buying frige magnet.thank you..
the question i have about the hall of fame is does it have alot of music you can listen to for free or is it devoid of most music and just a giant collection of stuff i can see at hard rock?
Wonderlama,
No real listening stations. Sure you can hear snippets of stuff everywhere, but it probably isn’t anything you haven’t heard a million times before.
This writer, named Jeffrey, seems like a intellectual thinker. Come on give this guy a break. He is just voicing his opinion. Plus I am a huge fan of his and the sex is great too!
Jeff had some valid points about the museum and I have to say that i did exit thru an HMV. We must all remember one thing, everything comes down to th all mighty dollar. Also HMV is a terrible music store.
I’ve been to both the Cleveland Hall of Fame, and the Experience Music Project in Seattle. Neither place would merit a second visit, but EMP wins by a nose.
the hof should be in memphis