It’s been one hell of a year, that’s for sure. We successfully breathed life back into this renowned rock magazine, while hopefully salvaging a dying breed of literate, long-form rock writing that comes from a fan’s perspective. We’ve learned much and only expect things to get better and better from this steady start. And, even though we weren’t around for all of 2007, we still have some things to say about it. So, grab a six pack, settle in, and and enjoy “A Very Fantastical 2007 Year End Extravaganza” featuring fun list-y type stuff and year-end round-ups along with some holiday-themed articles. We’ve been extremely proud to be a part of the rebirth of Crawdaddy! and look forward to doing more rock writing deeds in 2008.

Happy Holidays to you and yours,
The C! Team

Why, duh, this award goes to Keith Richards for admitting he snorted his father’s ashes. However, a considerable “honorable mention” goes directly to Billy Corgan’s Zeitgeist with its seven alternate versions and unique bonus tracks for Best Buy/iTunes.

Beck runs ‘round in a new age body suit and sets up shop outside a downtown LA metro stop handing out “free stress tests” to prospective students of Scientology. He still records records, from space… you know, whenever his master is willing to come to pick him up.

Jens Lekman relocated to Los Angeles in ’10. He was married to Natalie Portman for many years, but she left him for Feist, so he started a harem in the Hollywood Hills. An internet reality show about the harem has been airing for three years with great ratings.

Devendra Banhart and Joanna Newsome made a pact in 2007 to get hitched in 10 years if they couldn’t find anyone else. Thereafter, they had three kids named Soil, Daytime, and Moonshadow. All three kids now work on Wall Street as investment bankers.

Billy Corgan reformed the Smashing Pumpkins 12 more times since his ’07 reunion, and has released three more albums, distributing them solely through Walmart. He broke both wrists and his collarbone from a knockout fight with Dave Grohl, but is recuperating.

Cat Power is missing. Last we heard, she and Will Oldham went camping in the Shenandoah Valley together, and rumors abound that they are currently traveling around in a van playing one-off gigs at local yokel roadhouse saloons around the country.

Thom Yorke is a radical professor of economics at Oxford and wears a green beret at all times. He and Morrissey coauthored three books about implementing revolutionary business models, but Yorke refuses to teach with them because he often discounts his own theories.

Sufjan Stevens denounced God only to find him again, enabling him to finally complete his 50 albums dedicated to all 50 states in the US. However, this was mostly fueled by angers letters from hardcore fans on their deathbeds.

Keith Richards (when not glued to a barstool) hosts his own late night talk show, where young bands come to him for survival tips. He can’t remember any of his time with the Stones so makes a lot of stuff up. His ratings are slipping.

1. The Good Life, “New Year’s Retribution”
Sample lyrics:
January 1, 1994
A New Year’s resolution
A cause for celebration
But idle hesitation
Reminds me I am just a whore

2. Death Cab for Cutie, “The New Year”
Sample lyrics:
So this is the New Year
And I have no resolutions
For self-assigned penance
For problems with easy solutions

3. Alkaline Trio, “Private Eye”
Sample lyrics:
New Year’s Eve was as boring as heaven
I watched flies fuck on channel 11
There was no one to kiss, there was nothing to drink
Except some old rotten milk someone left in the sink

4. U2, “New Years Day”
Sample lyrics:
All is quiet on New Year’s Day
A world in white gets underway
I want to be with you, be with you, night and day
Nothing changes on New Year’s Day

5. ABBA. “Happy New Year”
Sample lyrics:
Happy New Year
May we all have our hopes, our will to try
If we don’t we might as well lay down and die
You and I

6.The Meat Puppets, “Leaves”
Sample lyrics:
One afternoon as dusk was nearing
I saw something I thought worth hearing
Something that’s been around so long
Now listen to my New Year’s song
Who ever made up the calendar was wrong
It’s New Year’s all year long

7. J Church, “New Year”
Sample lyrics:
I’m hoping that this new year,
Is better than the last one
‘Cause me and my loneliness,
Could sure use a divorce

8. Five Iron Frenzy, “New Year’s Eve”
Sample lyrics:
It’s New Years Eve and I’m full of empty promises,
I half pretend to keep this time,
just like last year.
The band is loud and I’m wandering the shadows,
wishing I was never here.

9. Bright Eyes, “The Vanishing Act”
Sample lyrics:
And now it all seems so familiar
Like pages turned on calendars
We get the same 12 months to fuck things up
Year after year

10. Dear Nora, “The New Year”
Sample lyrics:
‘Cause the snow has started again
But the New Year won’t wait
Oh, when I am old I’ll look back at the way I was
And time will feel so dark like every year’s a deeper hue

The Takeovers, “The Jester of Helpmeat” – Robert Pollard singing, “The jester of helpmeat is not fucking around.” The song is 1:04 and this is the only lyric. BAFFLING.

Coachella: Indio, California. Three days. Broke record of attendees, nearly 100 thousand for the Rage reunion show. Bjork, Arcade Fire, LCD Soundsystem, Jarvis Cocker, and Scarlett Johansson with Jesus and Mary Chain. Hundreds of bands. Lots of camping.

Bonnaroo: 530 acre farm in Manchester, TN. Four days. Sold out 80,000 tickets. Green campaign. The Police, Tool, White Stripes, more hippie lineup. Superjam of Ben Harper, John Paul Jones, and ?uestlove. Everyone camps.

Pitchfork: Union Park, Chicago. Three days. Over 35,000 people. Sold out. Sonic Youth performed Daydream Nation. Slint and GZA joined them. Yoko Ono (with Thurston) mixed music and performance art. No camping.

Lollapalooza: Held in Grant Park, Chicago (five-year deal to keep it there till 2011). Three days. Over 65,000 attendees. Ghostland Observatory, Satellite Party, Fratellis, Elvis Perkins, Spoon, Hold Steady, Soulive. No camping.

Sasquatch: Held at the Gorge outside Seattle. Sustainable: certified carbon neutral. Two days. Bjork, Arcade Fire, Neko Case, Beastie Boys, Interpol, Bad Brains. Emphasis on indie rock/singer-songwriter. Everyone camps.

Treasure Island: San Francisco. Two Days. Encouraged recycling of old cell phones, etc. Ten thousand people a day. Great transportation to island. Electronic and indie rock. MIA, Ghostland Observatory, Cut Chemist, Spoon, Modest Mouse, Built to Spill. No camping.