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Get Your Hipsters Off My Music
“If I should ever die, God forbid, let this be my epitaph: The only proof he needed for the existence of God was music.” – Kurt Vonnegut
Here’s a fact: Hipsters know more about music than you do.
Here’s another fact: Hipsters, generally speaking, listen to a whole lot of crap.
And perhaps the hippest of the hip are capable of mining through several layers of that crap to uncover some truly wonderful artists. But today an overwhelming majority of music fans take their cues from bloggers, who in turn take their cues from other bloggers. The end result is a whole bunch of dudes who look and sound sort of like Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons chasing their own tail for bragging rights to the next not-so-big-thing.
In the post sell-out world there ain’t nothin’ hip about endorsing the front-runner. In that world, platinum-sellers are rejected on principle because they live in the house on the hill and they strive to appease the masses.
No sir, the hipsters won’t have it—this sharing of musical ideals. I mean, how could the hoi polloi possibly enjoy music on the same level as a guy who sits in his boxers all day, bouncing back and forth from blog to blog just to see if that dude from Deerhunter wore a dress onstage the night before?
We’re talking about people who live, shit, and breathe their music. We’re talking about people who exchange smug glances across barroom tables whenever someone mispronounces the name Sufjan. We’re talking about people who think cover bands are a crime against humanity, while some band named the Puke-Styles deserve due praise for the amazing things they can achieve with experimental feedback and a pair of trash can lids.
And maybe that’s part of the problem. Somewhere along the line music snobs forgot why it is that they fell in love with the art form to begin with. That they spent their entire academic careers defending the reputation of no-name bands whose records they enjoyed, that one of the most appealing things about music is that it can be all things to all people, that everyone can enjoy it in their own way, for their own reasons.
So instead of smile-on-your-brother politics, there are battlelines being drawn along the center of the musical landscape. On one side, the masses, who only have access to a handful of big-name artists. On the other, a small contingent of die-hards who reject those artists based on their popularity alone.
Gone are the days of the Zeppelins, the Stones, the Guns and their Roses. The supergroup is dead, my friend, and that’s got a lot to do with the fact that the biggest fans out there live to dine at the table of a starving artist, but they refuse to feed a thriving one—an allegation most hipsters will respond to by throwing Radiohead in your face.
But let’s get one thing straight about Radiohead. Outside of the hiposphere, no one really cares, at least not to the extent that they’d surf clear across the internet and back again just to see if Thom Yorke took a dump.
***
I know what you’re thinking—I’m crackers, right? Out to lunch. Gone fishing. The claims I’m making are absolute heresy and beyond. It’s the record industry that’s ruining pop music, or the death of FM radio, or perhaps it’s those fuckers over at Starbucks… yeah, it’s definitely those fuckers over at Starbucks.
Well, maybe. But hipster America sure ain’t helping matters.
And if you want to know why, the answer is simple: Nobody likes a know-it-all. Nobody likes to be told their opinions are wrong by someone who passes off their own opinions as indisputable fact.
That’s precisely why most non-hipsters look forward to discussing music with their hipster peers about as much as they look forward to discussing anal sex with their parents.
It’s also why most hipsters feel uncomfortable discussing music with one another. It’s all a big game of one-upsmanship, where no one dares endorse the wrong band or genre, lest they have their hipster card revoked. The threat alone is enough to keep hipsters from listening outside the lines, ‘cause there’s nothing that scares a hipster more than the disapproval of his or her hipster peers. So far as phobias go, it’s right up there with public speaking and venereal disease.
So what’s the answer? How ‘bout this: just relax and have fun with the whole thing. You know that Marketing Analyst who gets drunk every Friday and wears his tie like a bandana while dancing to John Mellencamp? Embrace that guy. He’s loving life and it’s all because “Pink Houses” makes him feel alive again. Maybe his FM existence pales in comparison to yours. Maybe he doesn’t know all the words to “Beat on the Brat.” That just might be because the two of you have different priorities. And hipsters have no right to snub their nose at that anymore than young professionals have a right to begrudge the hipster their ironic, Miller High Life, mustached charm.
There’s enough music out there for all of us. And the more hipsters support the idea that other people appreciate music, rather than scorning them for what they appreciate, the more receptive other people will be to learning about bands they otherwise wouldn’t know existed.
But, hey, maybe I’m wrong. In fact, feel free to disagree. Because really, it’s just my opinion. And when you get right down to it, who am I to pass it off as fact?
24 Comments
The very idea of the musical counter-culture, in every iteration since the stupid fucking summer of love nonsense, has, to some extente, been about drawing battlelines. It’s part of the charm, and it’s why people are drawn to it in the first place — fucked up kid who knows something’s not right, turns to music, where he finds lots of other people who have done the same thing, and takes great comfot in knowing he’s not alone… it’s a pretty standard and, I think, heartwarming story.
In reference to those battlelines, you mention that on one side, you’ve got “the masses, who only have access to a handfull of big-name artists.” The problem here is that there’s not a person in this country who still only has access to a handfull of big-name artists. It’s easier than ever to find all sorts of good stuff, and anyone who chooses not to is either lazy or just not interested, both of which you probably think are fine. Just saying… everyone has access to everything. It’s 2007.
The current hipster culture is really no different than the punk/hardcore culture of the early 80s, the nerdy college-rock culture of the late-80s or the grunge culture of the early 90s. It’s still based on messed up kids trying to find their place. The only difference is that they’ve gained a little bit of power, because every large newspaper in the country has written an artlcle about Pitchfork and about the influence of blogs on mainstream culture. They’ve found themselves with a little bit of power, gotten a little bit of confidence, started dressing a little better, curious to see how far they can get on good taste alone. It’s sort of exciting, I think.
Can someone send me a link to Thom Yorke’s dump?
I have myself experienced the whole hipater musical snobbery and this is coming from someone who kind of considers himself a snob when it comes to music. When discussing music with this chick who’s favorite band of all time was Jaw Box I was told that the Rolling Stones’ LET IT BLEED album was “awful, unevolved and bland” when I asked if the person had ever heard the album she said “No, because the Rolling Stones are so big they can’t be any good.” She went on to say that if the bands she liked at the time, all of whom drew about 100 people to a show, ever got really big she wouldn’t be able to listen to them any more. I guess that makes sense.
SOOF-yawn
:)
Worst comment, ever.
Is anyone that is going to get it, got it? Ok, moving on.
I think there is a valid point being made, no matter how much it stings. Being somewhat of a hipster myself, part of me wants to take offense to this article. But then there’s the part of me that is jealous of the guy with the tie on his head dancing like an idiot because he is so into the music. And I don’t think it’s the case that people are lazy so much as that they are oblivious. I think the majority of people just take whats handed to them, no questions asked. Then there are the minority of us out there that question everything and say, “there’s got to be something better out there”. So we go in search of it. However, we then think we have something so new and unique. And then we become snobs and the passion becomes lost in that process.
None of this is to say that I prefer the latter, it’s just that maybe, sometimes, ignorance can be bliss.
Kudos to Mike.
Furthermore, who’s going to support the no-names if not the little hipster hype machine? White Stripes don’t just grow on Warner Bros trees. There’s no way in hell Modest Mouse would’ve made it this far. Interpol would never have existed in the first place.
Also, key to the equation is this “post sellout” world, but not as Hill apparently defines it. Its a post-sellout world because selling out hardly exists anymore; the only ones who care about that are high schoolers that usually come to grips with that sort of thing in the face of their college loans. Things go from hipster blips to TRL so fast, people (even hipsters) can hardly keep up, and wind up still appreciating things despite their success, if ever they truly appreciated them at all. Hip-hop has turned the whole thing on its ass, too, as it seems like the cred system is backwards on that genre. No-names have to prove themselves, big names get the cred, even on the street.
Hipsters are an easy target, and they love criticizing their subset just as much as anyone else (though beware pointing a finger at one individually. Snarky fangs!) Hill gets it right in that a true hipster lives and breathes the music, and knows more than the average listener. No hipster worth his/her mettle would blow off the entire canon of a triple-decade-spanning big band, as was the case with J. Boylon’s music snob friend in the comment above. I’m gonna say the Stones-hater is a poseur, not a hipster, which is really the worst of all the evils. A hipster, every time, would sooner say “eh, stones, whatever; pivotal i guess and blah blah blah, they should’ve quit in 1978, and the Velvets were more important anyway.”
Ah, the neverending dance of hipdom vs. mainstream, I remember it well. I was certainly a hipster back in the day when I was a young puke managing a record store. Nothing drove me crazier than moving a grillion Bee Gees disco albums while sitting on unsold stock of, say Japan, or The Clash, or XTC, or Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. Well, the Heartbreakers became my fave band and I sold lots of the first two records because I made a lot of people listen to them…
If only they could get on the radio! If only people would pay attention!!!
And then, the unthinkable happened – they did get played on the radio! People did start paying attention!!! Yikes. Now what? Even bozos now liked the band, they weren’t playing small clubs anymore. I was faced with making an important musical decision: does the fact the band is now mainstream popular mean that they suck, or does it just mean my wishes came true?
In Petty’s case, I decided the good guys won one for a change and I’ve had to shelve my snobbishness regularly ever since.
Bob’s right about all this…enough! Hipsters can’t even support the bands they already like (locals), let alone the ones from out of town. There’s a lot of music to choose from, and it’s because the Majors have lost their vision and focus, not because indie rock is actually better. What about the “noise rock” movement of the 90’s…how lame was that? And yet people would go an comment about “how great the feedback was”…stupid! It’s ok to write songs, and it’s ok to take a linear guitar solo. It’s also ok to take a shower and look me in the eye when you talk to me…blow me hipsters!
How do you pronounce Sufjan?
Well, in case anyone was still wondering why one might become even vaguely hipster-ish, it’s probably got a whole fuck of a lot to do with not wanting to be associated with people like Jesse, who seems old, out of touch and far too willing to speak about things he knows nothing about.
hahaha! this is funny! hipsters are taking over the world! run!
Amen, Anonymous 9/13!
Kelly Clarkson.
I swear Hipsters are so annoying. I especially hate the way they sit. “I”m like so alienated and to show everyone my artsyness I’m like gonna sit in this weird position to call attention.” Anyway Hipsters have ruined music for me because they are straight up snobby about it. Everyone is allowed to enjoy what they enjoy. I’m big into the Grateful Dead and I was only 10 when Jerry died so I’ve kind of grown up with this Hipsterdom, but to me the Dead culture and the Jamband seen is way more progressive and innovative music you can feel when you see it up close. Hipster bands just don’t do it for me because its so obnoxious and all whiney. Yet they think they are so Hip with thier Pabst that they buy for 4 dollars at the grimist bar where everyone just likes to pose and pretend they are so like Hip. Sorry, its just a rant.
the deadhead scene is full of some of most revolting, musical separatists out there. you can’t turn their dead off for nothing. or if you go to a show and don’t look like a stinking dirty hippie, you’re like, a square. what’s that all about? surely not peace and love.
Bob wrote, “…[M]ost hipsters feel uncomfortable discussing music with one another. It’s all a big game of one-upsmanship, where no one dares endorse the wrong band or genre, lest they have their hipster card revoked… ‘cause there’s nothing that scares a hipster more than the disapproval of his or her hipster peers.” I don’t quite know about that. From what I’ve seen, I’d say ‘the problem with hipsters today’ is that they’re too broken into too many factions. BUT, that’s just ‘cuz there are as many subgenres of the Rock and/or Roll for people predisposed to passion to be excited about. Like, say…. a ‘Krautrock’ hipster meets an Americana hipster. They’re talkin’ with two completely different vocabularies, with only adjectival overlap (i.e. “neu! is bitchin’” and “Wilco is bitchin’” — they may both say it, but not understand why). There might’ve been more conformity histperwise 30/40 years ago when genre deliniations weren’t written in quartz. But hipsters? gaining power? are they secretly in control of ClearChannel or something? :)
Oh get bent. Hipster bashing is at least four or five years old at this point, if not older. It’s not that I have a ton of love for Pitchfork and the sorta herd mentality of that crowd (Patrick fucking Wolf? Seriously, I’m supposed to care about him?) but the term hipster is just such a conversation ender. Know something about music? Fuckin’ hipster. Enjoy finding new and compelling stuff to listen to? Fuckin’ hipster. Follow any sort of music scene? Fuckin’ hipster. It’s anti-intellectualism dressed up as populism.
Sorry the barrista in the American Apparel sweater didn’t give you the love eyes back, Bob, but seriously, it’ll be okay.
” while some band named the Puke-Styles deserve due praise for the amazing things they can achieve with experimental feedback and a pair of trash can lids.”
HAHAHA!
I have a theory for you… and this theory has redirected my journalistic focus over time. My first year out in the field, I was sick to death of reading flowery, salacious and overly flattering reviews in every music magazine I came across. I wondered “How many Album of the Year-s can there possibly be??” Why is every artist even mentioned portrayed as God’s gift to mankind, and is Danko Jones REALLY a piece of “epic genius”?? I felt disgruntled… and lied to… and disappointed. I felt that someone needed to take a stand, to separate the meat from the sinew and really take control of a dying art. Then the lightbulb turns on: Hey, That someone could be me! Of course every worthless dilettante believes this… hence, all the snarky-ness and hifalutin assholes in the industry. Of course, experience dictates that whoever thought up the old adage “Bad publicity is better than no publicity” — was actually really freaking RIGHT! So by NOT mentioning these lousy bands, you’re actually making more of a stand. There’s a happy medium, I think, between being kind-yet-honest and being a disparaging know-it-all. It’s just a delicate balance that doesn’t always appeal to egomaniacal beginners. That’s my 2cents anyway.
Thanks, Bob. Needed to be said.
IF you listen to the Hipsters (worse yet, if you actauuily belive all the shit they7 say) then you will end uop with a really, really crappy CD and download collection. And you wuill always be kicking yourself in your own ass for not getting that one great Led Zeppelin CD— or whomever—-because you were too afraid to know your own mind about rock n roll.
…and Radiohead sucks. They really do.
Agreed. Hipsters are annoying, mainly because most of the bands they think are brilliant are really just rehashes of 80s college rock and 90s alternative rock.
this article made no sense what so ever
One of the glorious (and few) joys of aging is that it allows one to recognize that hipster/nonhipster distinctions are the province of youth and therefore do not apply to geezers.
Now I can stand amid a sea of youngsters at a Black Lips show and not worry over whether or not I Make the Cut, because I don’t and I can’t.
Liberation!